
Clarinets and Bassoons
This weekend was my last journey to Mobile for 2005. The rep was Christmas pops stuff — Sleigh Ride, one dance from The Nutcracker, lots of arrangements of traditional carols and more recent Christmas tunes. We had Santa, elves, the full orchestra, a soprano soloist, the Mobile Singing Children, and a large choir that (I think) was composed of choirs from the University of Mobile and other singers. We also had stand lights, strings of Christmas lights, and all the corresponding electrical gear on stage. As a result, we were pretty short on space. The woodwinds were in a single line, as were the brass. I snapped the pic at right from my seat at the stage left end of the woodwind row.
As often is the case with pops concerts, many of the arrangements were quite good, some mediocre, and a couple that were quite bad. The absolute worst, in my opinion, was from a suite that mixed standard classical pieces with Christmas carols. We only played one movement, “Little Bolero Boy,” and I can only hope that the others are better. As you may have guessed, “Little Bolero Boy” takes material from Ravel’s Bolero and the carol “Little Drummer Boy.” I cannot fathom why the arranger was under the impression that this was a good idea. He’s taken what is (in my opinion, and that of many others) the most boring piece of classical music ever, taken out the only marginally interesting part (the melody), and replaced it with one of the crappiest Christmas carols in existence (What’s that? You want to put “pa rum pum pum pum” at the end of every line? Sheer brilliance!). At the rehearsal for the second concert (which I’ll get to later) the wind and brass sections protested the piece, demanding that we play it faster and thereby finishing it sooner. Our demands were happily met.
On Saturday morning, I headed down to Dauphin Island, south of Mobile. The drive was nice, crossing a number of bridges over rivers and a very long one over the Intracoastal Waterway to the island itself. My main objective on the island was the Audubon Bird Sanctuary. I walked the trails with my camera at the ready, only to discover that the sanctuary had been hit pretty hard by the recent hurricanes, and there were almost no birds present. Small wonder, as the area labeled as wetlands on the map is now choked with fallen trees and beach sand. I also stopped by Fort Gaines, a pre-Civil War fort that was involved in the Battle of Mobile. (This battle gave us Farragut’s famous misquote about torpedoes. What he actually said was “Damn the torpedoes! Captain Drayton, go ahead! Jouett, full speed!”) I did not, however, have time to do anything other than walk around the outside. I’ll have to leave that for another trip.

My Balcony View
On Sunday, we played a second concert — with a smaller orchestra, without the choirs, sans Santa, and with slightly different rep. I knew that the concert was a run-out, at the Perdido Key Resort near Pensacola. What I didn’t know was that we out-of-towners were being put up in the resort itself. I had to complain to our personnel manager about the conditions under which I was being forced to work. I mean, just look at the view I had to deal with from my balcony! We didn’t have rehearsal until three, so I basically had the whole morning and early afternoon for beach and pool time. I didn’t bring a suit, but “surf”/souvenir shops are a dime a dozen in the area, so I was able to pick a a cheap suit quickly.
The concert was held in the hotel’s ballroom, which had been decorated with poinsettias and other festive accoutrements. Our performance was the main event in a fundraiser for the United Way, which also included a silent auction and some other things. The fun part was that all the donors/guests/whoever all had ample time to access the multiple bars that had been set up in the lobby and the silent auction room. In fact, we couldn’t get everyone herded into the ballroom, and ended up starting ten to fifteen minutes late. As we were waiting, I got bored and started playing random tunes just for fun. At one point, I started into the bari sax part of Glenn MIller’s “In The Mood.” Evie, the principal bassoonist (who I later found out used to play alto sax six nights a week in a big band), soon joined in on the melody line. Then, I noticed that one of the bassists had started into a walking bassline behind us. I started laughing too hard to keep playing.
We had the same herding problem after intermission, only this time it was worse. So, we just started playing. Eventually, everyone caught on. We gave a short encore at the end, then began packing up. When the conductor came back out to get his scores, a guy who’d become quite acquainted with the bar service started yelling “More! More!” in the sort of voice one might expect to hear at a WWE event. Luckily, we were out of things to play at that point.